Amusingly Random

2010-09-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

No, I don’t mean here, on my sofa, in my living room, but here.. this point of my life. The here, now and what was I thinking? I’m forty- three, perhaps the last time I’ll admit to age. I’m a part time college student, full time wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt. Temporarily laid off from my job of thirteen years and now working part time at the university I am attending. My mother and father in law live in my home. For the most part, it’s nice. Everyone should keep a few old people around , treat them well and take full advantage of the opportunity to point to your own teen and say “See, mother is so kind, caring and patient with the seniors.” Hoping that as you age, your child will remember to be kind to you.

Damn it, did I give her that twenty dollars she asked for? I can see her now, when I’m ninety years old and in need of a diaper change, she’ll stand over me , all knowing and say “ Yep, I remember needing something once, remember, Mother? I asked for twenty dollars but you made me wait for two days. I wonder if now would be a good time to let you know what it’s like to wait.” All the while, swearing under your breathe as you wipe today’s coffee stains from the front of the new, WHITE kitchen cabinets that your father in law has, like clockwork, spilled and not noticed. I fully believe he does this on purpose then laughs , thinking “ Ha! I waited all of my life to reach this stage.” Like the family dog who can fart and not care, the father in law will spill coffee, leave a coffee and crumb trail to wherever he has gone. Sometimes I leave it so that my husband, his son, can enjoy it too. Why not, he should enjoy it too, right? Only he is not patient like me. It’s kind of funny because he is often caught talking to inanimate objects throughout the house.

This, in turn, provides my daughter and I much entertainment. Yes, we sit in the other room, listening to him rant on , talking to himself and we laugh, out loud. I guess , in reality, my father in law can be in charge of entertainment. He needs a job, a title because right now, he does nothing. He watches the neighbors, he can tell you who’s doing what, with whom and when. Oh , really, it’s quite amusing to watch him go from room to room, peering as if he can’t be seen, peaking out a window here, a door there, then reporting back. I humor him, asking sarcastically if there are any affairs going on and if he would let me know of any good prospects for me. Funny, that blank stare he gives me, you would think he would get me by now.

Mother on the other hand is hysterical. How else can one describe a woman who was raised strict, Irish Catholic , raised five daughters and is still often clueless about things in life. There are so many things we have had to undo over the years and still, she reverts back to her conditioning. It is kind of funny though when she gets her dander up (does anyone even say that anymore?) She is nonconfrontational but watch out when she is on her soap box. She will tell you what she would do if given the opportunity, making damn sure she never gets that opportunity. I have been told that I am an excellent cook. I look at it as survival. I had to learn, otherwise I would have starved. Mother was not the best of cooks. She prepared things that resembled food yet tasted so not like food. Don’t get me wrong, I love this woman and I realize she did the best she could. She had to put meals on the table for a family of seven. I just wonder why she couldn’t get a little creative. Meat and potatoes , seven nights a week, fifty two weeks a year. To this day, I can’t look at a mashed potato. Really, I had enough to last several lifetimes.Have you ever tried to choke down chicken that has been cooked an hour longer than it should have? It’s not pleasant, really. She was of the reasoning “ chicken and pork must be cooked very good or you will get food poisoning.”

For years I thought chicken was supposed to taste like sawdust. Sure, she served cranberry sauce with it. She had to, otherwise we all would have died, not from food poisoning though, we would have been unable to clear it from our throats.I got wise though. I used to hide her recipes for the dishes that I would rather die than eat. Yes, she used recipes, not that you could really mess up her meals, it’s not as if we would notice anyway. We’ll share more of her , later.

A lot can happen in a year

2009-08-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

*Looks at the date of my last entry* Wow, almost a year has gone since my last rambling.

Let's see , my family is still crazy, my friends even moreso and life never stops being interesting. I like to look at each day as a new adventure. A day without learning something is a waste.

I've learned that life is short, in fact it is getting shorter every day. We must live as if there is no tomorrow. We must stop putting things off, procrastinating the things we find joy in, letting one day slip by, is one day too many.

During the past year, I lost my grandmother, my dad and my job but I gained a new perspective or should I say, my perspective grew stronger.

Thank you for your patience and I will try to amuse, confuse and make you smile with more posts.

Thank you to all who serve

2008-11-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

Today is Veteran's Day

I wish to thank all men and women who have served and are currently serving.

Traveling

2008-07-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

Airport Fun

If you have traveled recently , you will notice that some airports have installed a new security contraption. I first saw one of these when I visited Toronto a few years ago and went to the CN Tower. You have to love the vague descriptions given when asking “ What is that?”

I stood , watching other visitors walk into what looked like an open space craft of some sort, while sounds of high pressured air hissed from several valves attached to this device.

“It’s a body scanning machine.”

“What does it do?”

“ It checks for explosive residue. Please proceed madam’ just step in and pass through to the other side.”
I never gave it another thought. I figured it’s safe, and if it’s just ensuring that people can’t take explosives into the tower, it’s a good thing, right?

Now, in the past year or so, I’ve seen these machines at various airports. Great idea. It’s a perfect device to assist the security process at the airports. Random travelers are asked to pass through and off they go. BUT.. they actually scan the body and show images of people underneath their clothing. Now I don’t have to focus on setting off the security alarm in the metal detectors with my underwire bra, hoping to pass through without having to rip it off, hand it to the agent and then “bounce” back through.

A TSA screener in a nearby room views the black-and-white image and looks for objects on a screen that are shaded differently from the body. Finding a suspicious object, a screener radios a colleague at the checkpoint to search the passenger.
The TSA says it protects privacy by blurring passengers' faces and deleting images right after viewing. Yet the images are detailed, clearly showing a person's gender. There’s been talk that other details are visible, such as sweat on a person’s back. Ok.. I really don’t have a problem with all the efforts put forth to ensure my security while onboard an aircraft. I’ve been listening to the radio, television and some conversations with people who find this to be an invasion of privacy. Jokingly, the radio host says

“Oh great, I’ll look for my ass to appear on Youtube.”

And the females on the radio show chime in with “ Shit, now we need to select great underwear for travel.”

Callers on the air complain that this is absurd. They don’t think it’s right to be scanned and have their body image being recorded to a disc. Mind you, I think I’d be more offended by not being selected. Think about it. You have your regular security line. The TSA agents all carry two way radios. You just know there are some agents in a back room, watching the line and sending their “Random” selections to the gate , hand picking the ones they wish to “view” .. so what I want to know is.. WHY NOT ME!!!!!

It's been a While

2008-06-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

Second Life. Interesting to say the least. A trusted writer friend brought this world to the attention of all who read his blog and let me just say, Wow!!!

Second Life is an avatar based, three dimensional world with something for everyone.
The most interesting thing, for me anyway, is how real it feels. There are numerous workshops, learning experiences and fun, helpful people there. I've seen Broadway plays, Greek tragedies, attended poetry readings, poetry slams, visited art galleries, attended concerts and a host of arts, all for FREE!

I read that there were a number of well known, professional artists, ranging from singing to published authors. In the month since I joined, I have begun writing short stories again, contributed to live poetry readings and will have some of my erotic poems published in July's issue of a magazine there as well.

One of my dearest writing friends , whom I met on a writing forum, has joined as well. Now, we sit and chat in different locations of Second Life. It feels like she and I are actually sitting in the same location, chatting like friends do in real life. At first, we hesitated " Do we really need to burn more hours, wasting time on yet another site?" She was more skeptical than I was.

Even if you are not into the arts, I can guarantee you will find something of interest on Second Life. If you are not familiar with it, check it out http://secondlife.com/

It can be a bit intimidating for a novice at first but there are so many helpful people , it won't be long and you'll find yourself right at home.

Moms are right, sometimes

2008-05-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day

Sometimes it takes years for your child / children to realize that you actually do know things and the moment you hear those words “Mom you were right” it feels so good!

The teen queen was very blonde as a child. Over the past few years her hair has begun to darken a bit and I’ve allowed her to hightlight it. She is fairer than fair and dark hair just washes her complexion out. The past few trips to the salon, she has begged to go completely blonde. I’ve explained each time that it would be too dramatic of a change and she would not like it. The hightlights have made it appear very natural and the darker undertones have added depth. This past Friday, we both had appointments to touch up and trim our hair. Our hairdresser began the usual process of foiling the teen’s hair. Again, she insisted that she wanted to be blondedy blond blond. Now this is where I usually say sometimes you have to let them experience it, make a mistake and learn.

Leah, my hairdresser said “ok, we’ll wash it and peroxide you but you are not going to like it.”

The teen, of course knowing everything, said “ Yes I will. I know what I want.”

After four hours in the chair, she left in tears and in search of a hood to cover her head.
“I look awful Mom and I am not going to school like this on Monday.”

“Oh darling, your ass will be in school on Monday BUT I will fix your hair.”
We get home and her dad, who never learns, asks “what is her problem.”
Ah, the clueless, brave man.
She raises her voice “I look horrible, I have my period, I’m cranky , leave me alone.”
He slinks out of the room, comes to me in the kitchen and says “that’s the first time I’ve heard period out of her mouth.”

At least she warned him. PMS was invented for this child.

On Saturday I used a champagne blonde to tone her a bit and make her less of a Gwen Stefani blonde. Still not right and now she has resorted to wearing a baseball cap, arms folded across her chest “I’m not leaving the house and no one is to look at me and my eyebrows are stupid.”
She has zero tolerance for pain and refuses waxing. I have offered on so many occasions to fix them for her with a precision electric razor but “Mom, you won’t do em right.”

Guess what, Mom did her brows and she LOVES them. “Mom I love my eyebrows. It’s the first time they have been shaped right.”

Today, Mother’s Day, after cooking brunch with my sisters, I took the teen to the store to pick out yet another color to blend into her hair. I showed her the look that she should have gone for and I was willing to do it for her. “Ok but I don’t think you’ll get it right.”

We picked out a medium blonde and went home. I began to cut pieces of aluminum foil, got an old, small paint brush to apply the color to a few strands at a time to create depth and tone her color. “I thought you were going to put it on all of my hair?”
”For once, just once, will you trust me. I’ve been coloring my hair for more years than you’ve been breathing.”
Arms again, folded across her chest, big frown on her face as she plops on the chair for me to begin. Twenty five minutes later I rinse the color, apply conditioner and she towels her hair and runs upstairs. Five minutes later “Mom, it’s perfect. YOU WERE RIGHT”

With that wonderful quote, I shall smile for the rest of the day and hopefully, she will too.

To all the moms, Happy Mother’s Day and may you be right, just once.

Springtime Blues

2008-04-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

April is the month of A Poem in your Pocket
I have written the following for myself to carry.

Look , don't blink

let what is, be

feel, don't think

for only then

will you see

the bounty laid

before thee

Today was one of those days that I could have taken a road trip to no where. Some people suffer depression at the long winter months due to the shortened periods of sunlight, cold weather and dreariness of snow. I am the opposite. I never look forward to the end of winter and have a hard time adjusting to the change.

I had several errands to run and while I was out, I decided to get a cup of coffee. Normally I hit the local chain but today, I wanted more. I was introduced to a wonderful coffee shop by a friend of my sister.
On my first visit a few weeks ago I met Peter, the owner of Batian Peak. He was warm, friendly and eager to share his story of his family’s coffee history. His family has a bean farm in Kairi Village in Kenya. Unlike the chain franchises of other coffee shops, Batian Peak offers a wide variety of blends in both coffee and tea. The time and care that goes into harvesting the beans for the best results is extremely interesting and the benefit is in the flavor of the coffee.
Check out their website here: http://www.batianpeak.net/ourstory.aspx

Today I stopped in and met Roseanne, Peter’s wife. She has an infectious smile. I found the Ethiopian blend to have a similar taste to the Blue Mountain coffee I enjoyed in Jamaica. Roseanne offered to make a fresh pot if I was willing to wait two minutes. There were several customers at the time and each received her personal, genuinely friendly attention . I do hope they continue with great success. It’s always nice to walk in to a business and feel special. If you live north of Boston or find yourself in the area, do your palette a favor and stop in. You won’t be disappointed by the warm welcome, the selection of coffees and teas they offer and the best cup of culture you can find. I left feeling good inside and ready to face another spring day. Sometimes just enjoying something as simple as a cup of coffee that has come from such history is all you need to kick you in the backside.

I’ve been busy beta reading and have the joy of working with several talented people.
One I have just finished is well over four hundred pages and is amazingly well written. I did some fantasy casting as I read through. Now I look forward to assisting with the editing and helping to submit for publishing.

I hope you have a wonderful spring ( do we even get one?)

Oh yeah, it’s BASEBALL SEASON!!!!!!!

More Random Thoughts

2008-03-31T19:18:00.000-07:00

The world around us is both fascinating and falling apart.
On any given day you can find something that will have you in awe and shaking your head in disbelief just by opening a newspaper or watching the news.

I know each generation looks back and feels it was never as bad “then” as it is in the present. People I talk to are split on what is taking place in comparison to “years ago”

Some feel with the media broadcasting everything and anything, we are just more aware today and years ago, things happened but we just didn’t hear about it.

This week alone, there were two different cases of parents killing their children, a fetus found in an airplane bathroom, a fourth grade boy paralyzed after being pushed down the stairs while at school, a young boy stabbed on a playground and another killed by a bullet while standing outside his home, a child abused by his parents. One week, so much sadness and it’s like this every week.

I was talking with my mother and sister, discussing how we were able to be carefree as children and then as teens. My daughter is fifteen and I can’t imagine her being able to walk out the door carefree. There are home invasions, muggings, attempted and successful abductions and so many horrific things going on.

My mother worried but not to the degree that parents today have to.
We could walk, in the dark, to the bus, ride to the other end of town and return hours later, walking home alone and not fear being jumped, stabbed, shot or beaten up. Today, you have to send your children out in groups with cell phones and instructions of what to do if this or that happens.

It makes me wonder, where are we headed?
What will the world be like when my grandchildren have children?

Of course, you have to live. You have to let your children live and not fear every trip out of the house.

Random Happenings

2008-03-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

I had taken a break for a bit.
Brandon’s grandfather passed away, at home, on February 6, 2008.
My sister was able to pick him up from school and bring him to the house where he could have a few minutes to say goodbye. I am very proud of the way he is handling the loss and impressed by how grown up he has become.
I believe that allowing him to experience the process before his death, letting him know what was happening and what to expect, helped him deal with his grief in a healthy manner.

I went on vacation to the mountains for some much needed relaxation and playing in the snow. I did accomplish a bit of writing in the way of poetry and have kept busy beta reading for other writers, researching publishers and offering help with query letters.

A few random yet interesting things:
I’ve started re-reading some of Kurt Vonnegut’s work. Each time I read his works, I am still fascinated with his writing. His voice is so unique and interesting. He makes you see and feel things for what they are. He does not paint fantasy with his writing he just takes the truth and gives it to you in a simplistic fashion.

My teen has taken up Russian. She is an avid hockey fan and her favorite player is from Russia. I must say, when she takes an interest in something, she arms herself with as much knowledge on the subject as she can. Lately I find her with her nose in a book so it’s not a bad thing. Of course I am also having to try and understand what the hell she is saying to me. No longer is it “ Goodnight Mom, I love you.” It is now said in Russian. When I reply in English (often with the wrong response because I haven’t a clue as to what she is saying.) I get an “Ahem”
The house is now decorated with bright yellow stickers showing the Russian name for items such as telephone, clock, picture, wall, door. She asked me, dead ass serious, “Mom, where is the best place for me to stick the tag on the cat?”
If nothing else, she keeps my life entertained.

Life and Death

2008-01-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

Death is a part of life, so it is said.
Adults have a difficult time dealing with the loss of a loved one. I can’t imagine how a child deals with such a loss.

My eight year old nephew, Brandon, is as close to a son as one can get. He’s a charming, compassionate, loving boy. For the past three months my sister has worried about how to tell him his grandfather is going to die.

His grandfather has been a very positive force in his life. His father is not active in his life at all.

From the day Brandon was born, his grandfather has been like a father to him. Playing catch for hours, letting him help mow the lawn, building Lego sets together, watching every episode of Sponge Bob, The Wiggles, Bob the Builder , etc.

As a mom, my sister wants to protect him from the pain and sadness of the impending death. Time is drawing close as we feel his time left is approximately one to two weeks.

Each time Brandon visits with his grandfather he asks to come by my house to talk. Friday night he came in and was sobbing. He realized just how sick his Papa is and knows he is going to die. He is very brave and tried to fight the tears. My sister and I told him it’s ok to cry and let his emotions out. We talked for a while about his Papa, all the good memories he has with him and how special he is to him.

Then he asked about the wake and funeral. He asked if he would be allowed to attend. My sister has been very hesitant on this. She does not want him traumatized, yet she knows it is not something she can ever re-do if she does not let him decide for himself.

I have talked with her numerous times, telling her it needs to be Brandon’s decision. I feel if we talk with him, let him know what to expect and all that will happen, he will not be so afraid.

We were out for the day on Saturday to shop for birthday gifts and run a few errands. On our way to the mall we talked a little bit. His biggest fear at the moment is letting others see him cry. I told him he could wear a pair of sunglasses. That way, no one would see his eyes and he would be free to cry when he wants. Then I thought for a moment. I asked him

“Brandon, when someone says something funny, are you embarrassed to laugh?”

“No”

“If someone says something mean, are you embarrassed to be angry?”

“No”

“Well being sad is another emotion, just like happy and angry. There is no need to be embarrassed to cry. It means you have a heart and you care.”

“Are you gonna cry?”

“Yes of course. Your Papa is a great man and I will miss him. I will be with you the whole time and if you need to talk, I’m here. If you need to cry, I’m here.”

We headed into the mall and walked around a few stores.
We went to Macy’s looked around the cosmetic counter while his mother went off to browse, Oh the fun we had with all those samples. We laughed, sprayed each other with all the sample bottles of perfume and got looks of dismay from the “proper” ladies working the counter there.

I know , immature and foolish but sometimes you just have to break the rules. To see this little boy smile from ear to ear and laugh from deep in his belly was worth all the glaring looks from the cosmetic ladies. We left laughing and smelling quite loud.

All the way home he kept asking me to smell him while he smiled as if we had this little secret.

Random Thoughts

2008-01-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

A few thoughts that have been running through my mind.

It’s a great country we live in. I am dead ass serious. Imagine having your morning coffee, glancing through the newspaper. Ah, it just doesn’t get better than this.

Be careful before bringing charges against someone for assault. Even more so if he is a well known sports figure. You see court documents become a matter of public record. Yes, I know surprise, surprise.

It’s only fun til someone gets hurt, then it’s friggin hilarious.

It seems a woman (whom I won’t name, look it up, it’s a matter of public record) and a man ( again, well known sports figure) decided to add a few toys to a night of sexual fun.
The woman presented a pair of handcuffs which were a bit snug and hurt her wrists. She asked him to cover her medical expenses, he refused. She threatened to go public and sue him for assault. Now here is where it gets fun.

The woman has a friend in the media industry, the story broke and now the world knows their little kinky secrets.

Now, on to drivers!!!

I am not patient behind the wheel. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at road rage level and I know, I don’t own the road.. but come on. Is it really necessary to cut me off and then drop to 20 mph in front of me? I’m going along at a nice clip and there you are. You either are looking for me to hit you or you really are that stupid. I wonder if there is a stupidity clause on your insurance.

To those of you who are timid on the road. Please do yourself and fellow drivers a favor, Buy a bus pass!! If you are on a two lane road and there are construction vehicles PASS THEM!!! Don’t be afraid of the front loader. He is pulled into the breakdown lane for a reason. He expects you to pass him. Do we really need to crawl behind him at 5 mph, uphill???

There, now I feel amused.

Let's Vote

2008-01-05T18:15:00.001-08:00

Hey guys..
One of my dearest friends runs a few blogs… one of which I contribute to quite often
He puts a tremendous amount of time and research into them while making it a great resource for recipes. This insane cook enjoys checking in there and sending all the fun from my kitchen.

Please, as a favor, go herehttp://2008.bloggies.com/
Vote for Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen - http://fireinmykitchen.blogspot.com/ for best food weblogANDVote for both Wish Upon Your Star - http://wishuponyourstar.blogspot.com/Letters We Never Sent - http://lettersweneversent.blogspot.com/For BOTH Best Kept Secret Weblog & Best New Weblog

For Best Blog of the year,, please vote for http://fireinmykitchen.blogspot.com

Tell your friends as well..

She wants to start dating !!!

2008-01-01T00:05:00.000-08:00

I knew this day would come. I even planned to be excited for her. Now that it’s here, I just want to lock her in the closet, hit her with an ugly stick and tell her to wait until she is forty.

My daughter is fourteen. She will turn fifteen at the end of this month. When she first showed interest in boys two years ago she asked when she would be allowed to date.
I told her at sixteen I would give her my blessing and lock her father and her nineteen year old cousin, who is more like a brother, in the basement when a boy came to see her. You see, they both thought it would be cool to scare any boy who shows up to date her.

My daughter is an avid hockey fan and can hold her own with stats, players, games and such with anyone. This seems to be a common ground for her and several of her male friends from school. Two weeks ago she came to me and said

“Mom, there is this boy that likes me. I like him as a friend but he keeps telling me he likes me.”

“That is very flattering. Have you told him you wish to be only friends?”

“Yes but he keeps asking if he has a chance.”

“Just keep telling him the truth.”

Last week she informs me of another boy she talks hockey with.

“Mom, So and So wants to know if I can go ice skating with him next Friday. Can I go?”

“Yes. I don’t mind you hanging out, going skating with friends.”

“Mom, I really like him.”

“I am glad for you. How old is he?”

“Seventeen.”

So now I am thinking back to when I was her age. There was a nineteen year old that asked me to go to the movies, skating and bowling. I of course had to sneak because we were not allowed to even talk to boys until we were sixteen. I think of how lucky I am that my daughter is very open with me. She comes to me with her friends problems as well as hers. We don’t lie to each other and she knows that I do not judge.

I agreed to let her go skating but with a few rules in place. I will drive her and pick her up.
“Why can’t he drive me? He has a license and Bobby (her nineteen year old cousin) knows him.”

“I don’t care who knows him. You are too young for car dating. He is a new driver and I am not letting you just get into a car with someone I don’t know.”

“If you meet him, then can he drive me?”

“No. Meeting him has nothing to do with it.”

“When I’m fifteen and a half can I?”

“No. Listen, I agreed to let you go. Don’t push it.”

Sunday she asks if he can come for New Years Eve. I told her sure. Next

“Mom, remember the other boy that likes me. I feel bad because he has nothing to do for New Years. Can he come over too?”

“Sure.”

Now I’m thinking “how do I break this to her father???”

Two boys are going to show up at the house and I have not told him a thing.

Thankfully, we had a house full of people and he didn’t have a chance to frighten them.
The boys were very polite and both seem to like my daughter. It will be a shame to have to threaten them once the dating starts. Not to worry, I won’t actually harm them.. I won’t have to. Her father and cousin plan on shadowing her each and every time a boy wants to “hang” out with her. Of course, I won’t allow it. I’ll just have to sneak her out of the house and then shadow her myself.

All joking aside. I am pretty lucky. I have, from day one, been open and honest with her. I’ve tried to always allow her to think for herself, respect herself first and never let anyone talk her into something she does not want. As she grows I am able to see she is growing into a wonderful young woman. She is kind, caring, and considerate yet she takes no shit from anyone. I think she will do just fine. God help the first person who breaks her heart.

Best Christmas Gift

2007-12-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

Thursday night I had a date with an eight year old boy. My nephew had asked me to take him to a reading of The Polar Express at the local Starbucks. Of course I couldn't refuse such a request. When the story was done he wandered around the shop, looking at the decorations and such. When he returned, he handed me a small coffee cup and said

"Look inside"

I opened it to find a $5.oo gift card inside. I wanted to cry but didn't. I would never embarrass him in front of the other children. This gesture was so kind and unselfish it blew me away. When I said "Brandon, this is the best gift I have ever received." he told me

" I figured you deserve it. You always do things with me and I didn't know what else to buy with my money so I bought that for you. It doesn't expire so you can use it next year too."

When a child does something from the heart it melts me. Even now, every time I think I think of this and remember the look on his face while his hands were in his pockets, I have tears in my eyes.. good tears.

I hope you all have a similar reason to smile while you enjoy your friends and family this holiday.

The Curse may have lifted but...

2007-12-20T11:52:00.000-08:00

The baseball Gods sure have a warped sense of humor.

After waiting 86 ulcer inducing years, the Red Sox provided fans FINALLY with a World Series in 2004. The game winning ball became a major controversy over who had the rights to it.

Fans didn't care too much, we had a WIN .. who cares about a piece of history in the H.O.F. (hall of fame)?

Fast forward three years:

Again, our beloved boys of summer gave us one hell of a season and topped it with an amazing win of yet another World Series. Our closer, not only provided an awesome display every time he took the mound, with that "deadpan stare" of his.. no sirree..after clinching the division he danced on the field in his skivies.. not too bad a sight I might add. Again, after winning the World Series, he danced a jig. All through the rolling rally held on the streets of Boston, this man danced his ass off while donning a kilt, his own personal band "The Drop Kick Murphy's" on the float with him, providing the music.

Now, there has been question as to the whereabouts of the game winning ball. Jason Varitek made sure to hang onto it so he could give it to the man who threw the last strike across the plate. There were rumors that Pap lost it or Tek lost it..and such.

Today, on Fox Sports, the truth is revealed. Now, I am a HUGE fan of baseball. I NEVER gave up on the team, not even down 0-3 back in 04 when all others lost hope .. nope.. I am a true , nail biting, gut wrenching, ulcer victim FAN. So in being this kind of fan, I give myself permission to laugh..shake my head and say .. "That's Awesome"

You see, we won two World Series in my lifetime. The game winning ball being chewed by the closer's dog is just funny.

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/7588092?MSNHPHCP&GT1=10734

For some reason, I can't be sad. I find this beyond humorous.

Murphy's Law

2007-12-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

There is a saying.. whatever can go wrong..will go wrong.

My sister and I have a long history of getting lost. No matter where we go or how many times we have been somewhere, we end up lost. Neither of us has this problem when we are alone, it only happens when we set off to do something together.

Why would today be any different? We once spent fifteen minutes trying to find a way out of a parking lot! Laugh, go on, I do.

We made plans with my niece, a friend and our children to go to a farm in New Hampshire and enjoy the magic of Christmas in the woods. Our appointment was for eleven o'clock. The farm is a forty five minute drive.

Sister: We should leave at 10:15

Me: We should leave at 9:30 to allow time to get lost

Sister: Very funny. I have a GPS smartass. We won't get lost this time.

( Global Positioning System )

Me: Like I said, we should leave at 9:30 to allow time to get lost

We took two vehicles. I was in the car behind her. I had hope. We were in the town where the farm was. She pulled into a parking lot of a coffee shop and let me know she made one wrong turn. Not too bad, we just had to get back on the highway and continue to our destination.

It would have been fine had she not told the GPS that she was not taking the turn he suggested.

Now, the ride home was much more of an adventure. You see this time we were in the same vehicle. She put in the address of our destination to return home. This GPS would send us the most direct route there. YEAH RIGHT!

We left the farm , travelled some winding roads when the lovely British voice of Jason the GPS guy said "recalculating route" this signifies that the vehicle has veered from his instructions or we were no longer headed in the direction he suggested. We laughed, Jason recalculated and continued to tell us to " go 1/4 mile and turn right. Go 5oo feet and turn left. Travel 9/10ths of a mile and bear right."

Again, we heard " recalculating route".. My sister laughed and said " I didn't hear what he said. Don't worry, it will recalculate the route and send us from where we are."

I'm thinking it's a good thing we filled the fuel tank.

A half an hour later, we are on a road and Jason said " go 1/4 mile and turn right"

We are now at the end of a road. Ahead of us is a mountain trail, on the right and on the left are the woods. I had to get out of the car to catch my breathe from laughing so hard. You see, my sister had manged to get Jason, the GPS guy LOST!!!

Tis the Season

2007-12-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed when things in your life are going very well that you kind of forget things can change in an instant?

Have you ever been so content, you forget what it feels like to worry?

Our lives run in circles. We all have up and down times. I think the down times are provided simply to suck us back into reality. It does not matter whether you are in an up or down time. What is important is to always be thankful for what you have been blessed with. Sure, it’s easy to slip into a funk, a self pity party. It takes more effort and strength to see beyond any crisis or tragedy life has thrust upon you.

This year, it will be difficult to get into the spirit of the holidays for several reasons.

I know for sure it is the last Christmas for an extended family member who will be taken much too young.

A family member who has beaten cancer two times already is once again battling another , more aggressive form.

A sibling has been displaced yet again after giving so much to help someone out.

A very young family member will have to cope with the loss of a father figure.

I suspect another family member has begun to use drugs.

Among all the day to day things that come up, I force myself to look beyond these things. I am blessed in many ways and try to focus on what is good.

What I will draw from are the following.

It is the first Christmas for a niece and great nephew
I have several young nephews who bring much joy to me
My daughter shows me each day what a beautiful person she is
I’ve been fortunate in many ways and have endless reasons to be thankful.
I have my health, my family and friends.

If you find your life in a downward motion, I hope you are able to draw from the good to help get you through.

Holiday Spirit

2007-11-28T17:59:00.001-08:00

With the holiday season upon us I thought it would be fun to talk about the things that give us the holiday spirit. I know sometimes I find it hard to get into the “magic” of it all when there are so many things going on in life. I pride myself on making sure I am thankful each day for all that I am fortunate to have.

Over the years I have found pleasure in giving. I don’t mean just gifts to family and friends. I love the feeling of helping others and doing it anonymously. I feel good each time I am able to give back a little.

I’ve given great thought to many different ways a person can give without having to have a lot of spare change or countless hours to donate.

The following is just a small list of ways you can contribute. Some I have done and continue to do. Others are things done by friends of mine. Each little thing helps those who have little to be thankful for. Along the way, you may find yourself feeling pretty good about yourself.

Sponsor a family in need:

If you are not wealthy enough to do this on your own, get a few friends or co-workers to pitch in. You can visit a local shelter or family crisis center to let them know you want to provide for a family this holiday. Many have waiting lists of families in need of basic items such as coats, boots, hats, mittens and select few toys to place under their trees.
This is done anonymously and you can feel good Christmas morning while you are with your family, knowing another family will have a better day because of you.

Food Pantry:

Food pantries need donations all year. Often times people are more into giving during the holiday season. When you go to the market for your groceries, pick up a few extra, inexpensive items and bring them to the food pantry. Keep in mind, children love snacks and don’t often get to have the expensive treats.

Volunteer :

There are many services in need of your time. You can spare an hour or so once a week or month. Read to sick children in the hospital. Visit a local nursing home, sit and listen to the residents. Many of them go weeks without a familiar face and crave the company of someone to talk to.
If you have children, have them make crafts to bring to the nursing home.

Remember those who protect you:

Your local police and fire stations. They work day and night. They are the ones who will put their lives on the line for you everyday of the year. Bake an extra batch of cookies and bring them down to the station.

Support your troops:

Whether your against the war or not. These people fight for your freedom.
Holidays are the toughest on them. Call your local military office and find out what is
requested. Sometimes it’s as simple as a local newspaper, favorite candy or gum, toiletries and such.

Fundraiser:
There are millions of charities for millions of great causes. Fundraising is easy and it brings a lot of revenue for them. Donate unwanted items. Often times an event will hold a raffle. We all have items that were given to us as a gift that we will never use. It’s probably still packaged in the attic or basement. Contact the local office of any charity and they will let you know of any upcoming events and what type of items they are looking for.

Salvation Army Kettle Drive:

This organization provides invaluable services to so many families in need. They vary from drug abuse rehab to families forced out of their homes due to fires. Ring a bell for an hour outside a local store. It costs nothing but your time.

Remember, it does not matter how much you give. What matters is the help you provide to those down on their luck.

Where ever you are in this world , I wish you all a Healthy, Happy Holiday Season.

Media.. gotta love the Media

2007-11-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned in previous posts my love (read with much sarcasm) of the media. They twist and bend the facts or just get it wrong all together. Sending things to print without as much as a regard to whom it may affect.

I can laugh because I'm a nobody in the world.. the errors and mistruths printed affect me not. Other than provide me with a good laugh and a keepsake of misinformation.

Today, I received a call from my husband. He wanted to know when I changed jobs and began taking classes at the university? It seems a co-worker saw my name and gave him a copy of a newspaper.

A few weeks ago, I attended a play with my sister and daughter. We were interviewed and asked questions about the relevence of the play ..I was quoted and my name was printed in bold type. Under my name, they list me as working for the university and attending class there.

A minor error.. but think if it were bigger.. If I were
someone of importance.

I continue to shake my head and read what some consider fit for print.. only I take it in stride.
Don't always believe everything you read.

Oh NO!! He has a C-O-L-D

2007-11-20T19:06:00.001-08:00

Why is it that a man who has broken his wrist several times, sliced open his leg on numerous occassions, fallen from high places , nearly electrocuted himself, been hit on the thumb with a sledgehammer, becomes such a whiner when he has a cold??

They say women are the weaker sex. HUH!

Today I received a call at work.

"Hedow. Will you make me tum chicken dewp? I have a duffy node."
At this point, I can't help but laugh. He sounds pathetic. Reduced to sounding like a two year old because he has the sniffles.

Mind you, it's two days before Thanksgiving and the market will be like the annual bridal sale at Filene's basement. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept. Picture a million women gathered at the entrance to the biggest and best sale EVER for their dream wedding gown.

So needless to say I braved the store, picked up all that was needed to make the "dewp"

Now I sit here after cleaning up and wonder WTF?

I had to deal with a ruptured appendix, being gutted like a fish and come home to a nine month old whom I couldn't lift due to the staples and stitches. Where was he.. Oh.. he was on a bowling league. " Where ya going HON?"

"Tonight is Wednesday. I'm going bowling."

"But the baby is sick, I can't lift her and I am not feeling well."

"Sorry HON. I missed last week. I can't miss again this week. My team needs me. Don't worry, I won't be late and I'll put the baby to bed."

And he wanted "dewp" cause he had a "duffy node"

Weaker sex my ass...

Thanksgiving Blessing

2007-11-19T18:06:00.003-08:00

My wish to you on Thanksgiving Day

May your home be filled with laughter
Your heart filled with love
your mind filled with kind memories
of those watching from above

Veteran's Day

2007-11-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Today is November 11th

Today and everyday, I say thank you to all who serve. Past, present and future.

To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nation.

Living Wills

2007-11-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

Thirsty Thursdays provide some great insight into life's "what ifs"

Tonight's topic was what we wish to happen when our life hits the brakes. I find it interesting that each of us has different views as to what we want for our afterlife or our journey into the hereafter.

My daughter, who is just shy of fifteen and is usually freaked out when we talk about death, announced that she has a will. If she should die, she has made a list of how to divide her estate ( which consists of guitars, books, an absurd amount of cd's , clothing, sports memorabilia etc.)

In the event that she becomes brain injured, her request is simple. She is NEVER to be unplugged.

I am to play her favorite cd, 24 hours a day, make sure a hockey game is on the television at all times and be sure I take her ( hospital bed and all) to any concert locally.

In the event of her death, I am to bury her cd's with her, she has clothing selected for her afterlife and she has listed which of her family and friends will receive the remainder of her belongings.

My niece wishes to be buried NAKED!!!.. now that gives a whole new meaning to a "Viewing"

I've been to some weird Irish wakes..but I'm willing to bet, this will top the weirdest of weird. I will see to it (if I am still here) that her wish is carried out. I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of our older relatives.

My sister ( the nothing sacred, baby of this clan) has a simple wish as well. She would like to be buried with a smile on her face and big blue implanted in place. Again, should I outlive these two, I will make it my personal (he he) mission to see that their wishes are carried out.

I can only imagine the trip to the funeral home to make the arrangements. For my niece, I will bring nothing for personal effects. I wonder if the Doherty boys have ever had such a request?

For my sister, well, I am sure, after I leave, they will have a good laugh.. after all, morticians are people too.. and they are some very handsome boys as well.. if the spirit still lives after we die, I am sure it won't be too hard to get that smile on her face once one of the Doherty boys plants her personal effects.

For me, I want to take a few items. A full bottle of whiskey, a pack of cigarettes, a cd of the Drop Kick Murphy's and my Red Sox shirt. I don't want tears, I want laughter because I'll be laughing from beyond.

Dinner, Conversation and Mother Shows Interest in Sex Toys

2007-11-01T18:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wished you could shower your brain?I have a very vivid imagination and when someone says something a movie plays in my mind.

Sometimes it's amusing, others.. not so much.

Each Thursday my sisters and parents get together at my house for dinner and cocktails. It's never boring nor is it civil. The conversation can go from potatoes to masturbation in one fell swoop.

Tonight we were talking about many things and the conversation turned to cysts and such ailments. My niece arrived late and was eating dinner, the poor thing. We were discussing the fact that my mother trys to diagnose herself before going to the doctor. Somehow we started talking about cysts and mother pipes in with " I have cysts everywhere. I'm loaded in places you couldn't imagine. As a matter of fact I grow things everywhere."

I couldn't resist " Have you grown a penis yet Mom?"

The following is the conversation while poor Caryn tried not to choke on her dinner.

Mother: whispers " No but if I did I'd have sex with myself"

So of course my sister, niece and I look at each other and laugh

Me: You know Mom, there are toys we could get you.

Mother: That would be fun

Sister: Ew.. I don't want that image in my head..stop , stop STOP (she has a mind like mine and at this point a movie has begun to play in her head )

This from the one who asked mother if she ever participated in oral sex !!!!!

Mind you this woman is 67 years old. Raised Irish Catholic and never , ever discussed sex with us, never mind masturbation. Now, she kind of chuckles at the thought of a battery operated bed mate.. Goes to prove you're never to old to find the pleasures of life..

Media Frenzy

2007-10-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

The echo of the crowd hasn't even silenced yet and already the local media has started the rumor mills. I suppose a sports town such as Boston will always provide these people with something to write (using this term freely.. more like creative writing) about. They are the reason Curt started his own blog (38pitches.com). He too was tired of words being twisted and stretched more than a rubber band.

Let's for a minute consider Manny Ramirez. He is a private kind of guy. He shows up every game, does his job (does it well I might add), provides the fans with entertainment and then goes home to his family. The media does not like this one bit. So what if he doesn't grant interviews. When you are done in your day job, do you want to continue hashing it out with a bunch of hacks with a press pass? Never mind that he still has another year on his contract but they are already starting to speculate on what's going to happen. Why don't we just enjoy the feeling of just having won another world series and focus on signing those whose contracts are up this year. That would be too easy.

Jim Rice is a perfect example of just how the media can bite you in the ass. Here is a guy that oozes class. He played and earned his right in the HOF (hall of fame), yet each year when the voting takes place , somehow he is shy just a few votes which would grant him his due. Jim was not a media friendly guy either..

Now, this being a contract year for a few players in major league, the media has a cornucopia of things to work with. Mike Lowell, World Series MVP. Our beloved third baseman. If you read the papers, listen to the sports talkshows on the radio, they will have you tearing your hair out.

It seems they think that the Red Sox will not sign Lowell and opt for A-Rod ( whom I call Assrod) instead. Listen up, Nevah Gonna Happen. Give Theo Epstein a little credit please.

I personally will become a Cubs fan if A-Rod were to ever don a Red Sox uniform and those who know me, know that's huge.

My advice to you who have suffered and bit off all of your nails until 04, remember the brilliant words of Joe Torre ( a class act). " The media has been known to be wrong once or twice."

Don't believe all you read and don't get sucked into the columns written by sports guru wannabes. This isn't Dan Duquette's job to screw up anymore.. we have Theo at the helm and he has made some brilliant aquisitions.

That is it for my rant....

Random Acts of Kindness

2007-10-27T21:07:00.000-07:00

My sister, whom I've named Miss Numb in a previous post, was the recipient of an act of kindness from a stranger. It may not sound like such a big deal but in today's world , with all the anger and hate that we are subjected to with each page in the newspaper, stories like this restore my faith in humanity.

Miss Numb travels a toll road to work. Friday morning when she got to the booth, the lady told her she was all set. My sister was confused. The toll worker told her the lady in the car ahead of her had paid the toll for my sister. All she requested was this.

" Tell her to show a random act of kindness to someone and have a great day."

I myself have been in a coffee shop and purchased a cup of coffee for the person behind me. Sometimes I'll hand passes to an event to a family behind me in line when I have extras.

It makes me feel good to do this.

I wonder, if everyone started doing this how much nicer this world would be.

So, I ask you to try it. It does not have to cost you a lot of money. Imagine how nice someone feels when they receive a free cup of coffee, a free pass on the toll road. Who knows, you may be the lucky recipient one day.

Today, I wish you all a peaceful day full of kind thoughts and warm smiles.

You know the Honeymoon is over when ...

2007-10-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

Remember the days when you and your signifigant other had to be apart for more than twenty four hours and you felt like half of your heart was torn out? Remember the mere thought of going through a few days without each other caused anxiety?

When I was first married, I recall conversations from those who had been married for many years talking about how they enjoyed when their spouse went off for a few hours or YIKES , days. I couldn't imagine wanting to spend long periods of time. The first time we had to spend three days apart I was lost.

Fast forward to reality...

He enjoys camping. Real out in the woods in a tent , on the lake camping. Me, I can camp at the finer hotels. When he and my daughter would go off on a camping weekend for three or four days I would be in heaven. The oldest sister would ask me how I could stay alone. What was she thinking. BLISS.. shear bliss.

I love golf. Mind you I have never swung a club but since he took it up a few years back, I went out and bought him a wonderful set of clubs because it allows me "Me" time. He has a golf date twice a week and I truly enjoy the few hours that he is gone.

Today, I dropped him off early this morning to catch a plane to Florida. Am I selfish for smiling like an idiot the minute he got out of the car?.. No. You see I've come to the conclusion. I love him dearly but enjoy our separate times as well.

Some days I think I want a man in my life, just not in my house.

ALCS Champs Celebrate in Style

2007-10-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

These pics are courtesy of a friend... enjoy

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?Uc=1613zckz.7uefw8j3&Uy=ytvvj5&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp?mode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1

There should be an Island for all the moody people

2007-10-23T16:26:00.000-07:00

This is in no way a male bashing post.. it just so happens that the men in my life are moody and negative. Sure, we all could easily slip into this depressing way of life. Every day there is something that goes on to piss me off but I choose to say "fuck it".

My father, whom I love dearly, is the first and most negative person I know. Talk about sucking the fun out of everything. He really baffles me. Here is a man who has beat cancer two times. The first time he was literally one week away from death. He should be grateful and thrilled that he beat the odds.

My sister (the dirty minded, nothing sacred, baby of this group) and I spend a lot of time together. Often we will plan a day to head off on a new adventure with our kids somewhere. When my father gets wind of this he feels obligated to come up with some reason it will suck. It's either the traffic, no where to park, too expensive, etc. Now, when we plan something, we purposely tell him, hoping to rile the negative from him. We figure we may as well have some fun.

So, they say you marry your father.. boy I should have listened. I never realized that spilling an item on the floor was suppose to bring out the George Carlin rant.. remember the seven words you can't say on tv? Well, my husbands got George beat by several four letter words. Even better when there are guests. Funny, it does not help the situation. It does not clean up the mess. Even my daughter will look at him and say " Dad, it's not the end of the world, it's a spill."

My father in law does not drive, he has double vision.. lucky him, he gets to see two of everything. On Sunday, he asked my husband to take him to a store for one item. Of course Sunday is football day. Men like to sit on the couch, unshowered and scratch themselves for the day. Mind you, I was up to my elbows in tomatoes making sauce for dinner. After his pissing and moaning about having to , god forbid, leave the house, I told him never mind, once I had dinner on the way I would take HIS father to the store. Half an hour later, Mr. Mope came to the kitchen and said "I'll take him. It better be one store."

My sister has always had the knack of attracting her share of a mixture of negative, selfish men. I guess those of us who don't sweat the small things are bound to be surrounded by those who need a thousand milligram tablet of Fukitol.

I figure my revenge will be to come back in my next life as a man. My husband shall return as a woman and he will then be my wife. I feel it will be the ultimate revenge. Until then, I think there should be an island created just for moody, negative people. Of course it would be crowded. Maybe that is good, it would give them one more thing to bitch about.

They Cowboy'd Up!!!

2007-10-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

To a team that played hard and gave us an amazing season... be proud of yourselves.

You've kept me on the edge of my seat all season. I never doubted you guys and am proud to be part of Red Sox Nation.

Kevin Millar, you are a class act... love the "Cowboy Up" moral boosting speach you gave your team.. yes, I know you wear a new uniform but you'll always be an "idiot" at heart and I thank you for that.

On to the media who love to drum up negative shit on Manny....just because he does not grant interviews, you whine and create articles of lies. I don't care if he never speaks. The man shows up, plays the game, provides entertainment and in the end, produces. I'll take Manny being Manny every day because in the end he "brings it".

Youk, what can I say. For the past few years you have given 200% .. no better first baseman in the league.

I thank you all for a great season. It's a long winter without baseball.. we need to find a way to make it a 12 month sport.. or I need a 12 step program

Let's take the Rockies.. one pitch at a time

Wishes

2007-10-18T11:07:00.001-07:00

A new blog has appeared and promises to inspire.
Check outhttp://wishuponyourstar.blogspot.com/

I think it will be a nice change to view various wishes from all over the world
and who knows, when you wish hard enough, believe strong enough, anything is possible

Taking a Mental Health Day

2007-10-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

I take about one day a year for just me. I planned it for two weeks. I was going to catch up
on reading , maybe squeeze some writing in, then starting dinner a littler early. Yeah, Right!

I planned on Tuesday. My daughter was off from school and my sister informed me that she had also taken the day off. Before long, my husband said " why don't you meet me for lunch?" What was supposed to be a day of waking when I wanted, enjoying a pot of coffee, checking my favorite blogs and catching up on 150 page work for one writer, 15 chapters for another, writing an essay for the sister who is taking courses towards a degree, yet feels it fun to give me a week's notice to help, and maybe, just maybe getting to some of my own writing, soon turned into the following.

Daughter: Mom, I'm having my aunt come over first thing. She's bringing me a bagel for breakfast.

Sister: We could do some more packing at my house. I still have so many things still in boxes that I need to store. Then we can all meet for lunch with your husband.
Mind you, I am still driving around with much of her belongings in my car from my last trip to help her pack. Threatening to open the trunk and letting it all slide out only brings laughter from her..

Sister shows up at 10:30, daughter has breakfast. I get one cup of coffee.
Off we go, unpack boxes and repack into totes. I must say the day was interesting. My nephew and great nephew played outdoors while my daughter, my sister and myself did the unpacking/packing shuffle. There were a few humorous moments, like when I found six condoms , flavored Love Liquid and such packed in a box. I tossed them over to my sister and said " wonder if these have expired?"
My daughter just rolled her eyes.
My sister laughed because she inspired the "Nothing Sacred" post.

At 1:15 it was time to finish up and drop my great nephew off to my other sister and then meet my husband for lunch. After lunch I was going home to start dinner and do some baking. My sister decided she would bring over her "stuff" and bake with me. Don't get me wrong, it would be a stretch to say she is a baker.

Patty, when you read this, know that I love you.. but let's face it. I still laugh when I imagine your finished product.

I arrive home, it's 3:00. So much for a relaxing day off.
I started preparing dinner then went on to start my baking. Sister showed up with her ingredients, we fought for oven time and had a cocktail while we waited and laughed hard when hers were finished. She thought she would be creative and try making apple turnovers. She purchased Filo Pastry Sheets and proceeded to make unique shapes. Let's just say they did provide much needed laughter.

By the time I finished making dinner and cleaning up, it was 7:00 pm and I accomlished nothing I had planned.

Next year, when I take my one mental health day, I am telling no one and will check into a hotel for the day. Somehow, I know one of them will track me down.. I just know it

Today's Teens vs Us

2007-10-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

Imagine being 13 and sitting down to breakfast with your parents, a sister, cousins and such. Seated together at a table in the restaurant, general conversation flows and everyone is chatting happily. Imagine now your teen daughter announcing " Mom, will you buy me a thong? I really hate having panty lines!!

Silence fills the table. All forks have been set down and eyes glare at my daughter and me.
I whisper "Not now dear, your father is sitting right here."

Now, my mother would have just given me a look , my father would have punished me for two reasons. One, you don't discuss underthings at the dinner table and two, daughters do not grow up.

From day one, I wanted for my child to have a voice, not be afraid to say what she feels, be open to many things.. I think ..*gulp* I've accomplished this.

Never Too Old

2007-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

I wonder where this woman was when I was growing up.
At sixty seven years old, my mother is finally coming out of her supressed vixenous closet.

Attending a get together on Sunday (football widows need something to do) we talked about having an adult toy party. Mom asked "What's that?"

Baby sibbling " They sell toys for us. Vibrators and everything you can imagine."

At this point mother laughed with a bit of embarrassment. I suggested we hire a stripper to make the afternoon more entertaining. Mother's response "Yes then I will definately come. That I would like to see."

So tell me, where was this woman? Years ago at the mere mention of a male body, her response used to be " Oh, penises.. they are the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

There is hope. Even in her silver years, mother is finally able to laugh and enjoy sexual talk....Go MOM !!!

Nothing Sacred

2007-10-12T06:25:00.000-07:00

Life is never dull around my dinner table when one or more of the sisters are present. Poor mother often shakes her head and then laughs , heartily.
Maybe shock is good for the lady. Father is another story. I believe if he could slither from his chair and crawl into a hole he has willed to open, he would.

We women are open to discussion of any topic. This often means nothing is sacred.

The youngest in the birthing order has a habit of crossing that fine line of proper. Imagine if you will, a Catholic woman who raised five daughters, sitting around the table with two of them. Conversation is mild and before too long, sex is brought up. We talk about it openly, much to her dismay, a bit graphic. Then, when I thought it was going well, my sister decided to ask mom

"have you ever given dad oral sex?"

Now, don't get me wrong, after spitting out my coffee, watching my mother for signs of a stroke and looking to make sure it was really my baby sister asking, I said "Wow". And if that wasn't enough, my sister looked at my mother and said " what, Ma, you never have?"

Mother recovered nicely and now I know, nothing is sacred.

The Stars Align to Bewilder

2007-09-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Much of my humor comes from my family. We are five girls strong and so different, one might question that we are of the same parents.

We have the following, in birth order from OLDest to youngest..

Miss Prudence slowly in her older years turning a bit vixen

Miss Numb, set me on fire, take everything from me and I won't complain (this one is really a gem)

Miss Dirty Minded Humor, will twist your words to make life fun, family therapist yet has no degree, problem solver

Miss Opinionated Defensive, I used to have a mind of my own until I got married.

Miss Doormat, kind, giving, naive, loving, will never learn when to pull back

Look for fun posts soon

Welcome to the randomly amusing

2007-09-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Sit down, put your feet up.. and breath. Random thoughts of amusement and confusion. Some will make you laugh (good) others will make you cry (sorry) Best of all.. I hope they make you laugh and say so glad it's not me