Tuesday, January 1, 2008

She wants to start dating !!!

I knew this day would come. I even planned to be excited for her. Now that it’s here, I just want to lock her in the closet, hit her with an ugly stick and tell her to wait until she is forty.

My daughter is fourteen. She will turn fifteen at the end of this month. When she first showed interest in boys two years ago she asked when she would be allowed to date.
I told her at sixteen I would give her my blessing and lock her father and her nineteen year old cousin, who is more like a brother, in the basement when a boy came to see her. You see, they both thought it would be cool to scare any boy who shows up to date her.

My daughter is an avid hockey fan and can hold her own with stats, players, games and such with anyone. This seems to be a common ground for her and several of her male friends from school. Two weeks ago she came to me and said

“Mom, there is this boy that likes me. I like him as a friend but he keeps telling me he likes me.”

“That is very flattering. Have you told him you wish to be only friends?”

“Yes but he keeps asking if he has a chance.”

“Just keep telling him the truth.”

Last week she informs me of another boy she talks hockey with.

“Mom, So and So wants to know if I can go ice skating with him next Friday. Can I go?”

“Yes. I don’t mind you hanging out, going skating with friends.”

“Mom, I really like him.”

“I am glad for you. How old is he?”


So now I am thinking back to when I was her age. There was a nineteen year old that asked me to go to the movies, skating and bowling. I of course had to sneak because we were not allowed to even talk to boys until we were sixteen. I think of how lucky I am that my daughter is very open with me. She comes to me with her friends problems as well as hers. We don’t lie to each other and she knows that I do not judge.

I agreed to let her go skating but with a few rules in place. I will drive her and pick her up.
“Why can’t he drive me? He has a license and Bobby (her nineteen year old cousin) knows him.”

“I don’t care who knows him. You are too young for car dating. He is a new driver and I am not letting you just get into a car with someone I don’t know.”

“If you meet him, then can he drive me?”

“No. Meeting him has nothing to do with it.”

“When I’m fifteen and a half can I?”

“No. Listen, I agreed to let you go. Don’t push it.”

Sunday she asks if he can come for New Years Eve. I told her sure. Next

“Mom, remember the other boy that likes me. I feel bad because he has nothing to do for New Years. Can he come over too?”


Now I’m thinking “how do I break this to her father???”

Two boys are going to show up at the house and I have not told him a thing.

Thankfully, we had a house full of people and he didn’t have a chance to frighten them.
The boys were very polite and both seem to like my daughter. It will be a shame to have to threaten them once the dating starts. Not to worry, I won’t actually harm them.. I won’t have to. Her father and cousin plan on shadowing her each and every time a boy wants to “hang” out with her. Of course, I won’t allow it. I’ll just have to sneak her out of the house and then shadow her myself.

All joking aside. I am pretty lucky. I have, from day one, been open and honest with her. I’ve tried to always allow her to think for herself, respect herself first and never let anyone talk her into something she does not want. As she grows I am able to see she is growing into a wonderful young woman. She is kind, caring, and considerate yet she takes no shit from anyone. I think she will do just fine. God help the first person who breaks her heart.

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