Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dinner, Conversation and Mother Shows Interest in Sex Toys

Have you ever wished you could shower your brain?I have a very vivid imagination and when someone says something a movie plays in my mind.

Sometimes it's amusing, others.. not so much.
Each Thursday my sisters and parents get together at my house for dinner and cocktails. It's never boring nor is it civil. The conversation can go from potatoes to masturbation in one fell swoop.

Tonight we were talking about many things and the conversation turned to cysts and such ailments. My niece arrived late and was eating dinner, the poor thing. We were discussing the fact that my mother trys to diagnose herself before going to the doctor. Somehow we started talking about cysts and mother pipes in with " I have cysts everywhere. I'm loaded in places you couldn't imagine. As a matter of fact I grow things everywhere."

I couldn't resist " Have you grown a penis yet Mom?"

The following is the conversation while poor Caryn tried not to choke on her dinner.

Mother: whispers " No but if I did I'd have sex with myself"

So of course my sister, niece and I look at each other and laugh

Me: You know Mom, there are toys we could get you.

Mother: That would be fun

Sister: Ew.. I don't want that image in my head..stop , stop STOP (she has a mind like mine and at this point a movie has begun to play in her head )

This from the one who asked mother if she ever participated in oral sex !!!!!

Mind you this woman is 67 years old. Raised Irish Catholic and never , ever discussed sex with us, never mind masturbation. Now, she kind of chuckles at the thought of a battery operated bed mate.. Goes to prove you're never to old to find the pleasures of life..


Nascar and the Canadian Curmudgeon said...

how true it's never to late in life to learn new things..It's also nevr to late to try out a few of the old ones that you enjoyed in the past...:):)

Stinkypaw said...

It'a always time to enjoy what life has to offer, battery operated or not!

Random Thoughts to Amuse said...

I love that she is "coming out" in her silver years.. it's a Mother I never knew existed...

Thanks for the comments :)

Mr. Grudge said...

What a good laugh. This reminds me of when I introduced my girlfriend (now my wife) to my mother for the first time at my parent's home. My mother started to explain to her what a slob she thought I was. She too was a strict Catholic and the subject of sex was taboo in our home. Don't ask how she had six children. Anyway, she laughed when describing my messy room saying "His room is such a pig sty, there are living orgasms under his bed!" After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she repeated her "funny" line. Squirming in my seat, I cleared my throat and said "That's organisms, Mom." All she could say was "oh." I get the chills writing about it. Thanks again for the laugh. -Mike

Random Thoughts to Amuse said...

Oh the stories we can tell. One word used in place of another and my sisters an I snicker like fools. Poor dears don't realize the full impact of what a naughty mind can do to their slip ups..

Thanks for commenting, Mike