Have you ever wished you could shower your brain?I have a very vivid imagination and when someone says something a movie plays in my mind.
Sometimes it's amusing, others.. not so much.
Each Thursday my sisters and parents get together at my house for dinner and cocktails. It's never boring nor is it civil. The conversation can go from potatoes to masturbation in one fell swoop.
Tonight we were talking about many things and the conversation turned to cysts and such ailments. My niece arrived late and was eating dinner, the poor thing. We were discussing the fact that my mother trys to diagnose herself before going to the doctor. Somehow we started talking about cysts and mother pipes in with " I have cysts everywhere. I'm loaded in places you couldn't imagine. As a matter of fact I grow things everywhere."
I couldn't resist " Have you grown a penis yet Mom?"
The following is the conversation while poor Caryn tried not to choke on her dinner.
Mother: whispers " No but if I did I'd have sex with myself"
So of course my sister, niece and I look at each other and laugh
Me: You know Mom, there are toys we could get you.
Mother: That would be fun
Sister: Ew.. I don't want that image in my head..stop , stop STOP (she has a mind like mine and at this point a movie has begun to play in her head )
This from the one who asked mother if she ever participated in oral sex !!!!!
Mind you this woman is 67 years old. Raised Irish Catholic and never , ever discussed sex with us, never mind masturbation. Now, she kind of chuckles at the thought of a battery operated bed mate.. Goes to prove you're never to old to find the pleasures of life..