Tuesday, October 23, 2007

There should be an Island for all the moody people

This is in no way a male bashing post.. it just so happens that the men in my life are moody and negative. Sure, we all could easily slip into this depressing way of life. Every day there is something that goes on to piss me off but I choose to say "fuck it".

My father, whom I love dearly, is the first and most negative person I know. Talk about sucking the fun out of everything. He really baffles me. Here is a man who has beat cancer two times. The first time he was literally one week away from death. He should be grateful and thrilled that he beat the odds.

My sister (the dirty minded, nothing sacred, baby of this group) and I spend a lot of time together. Often we will plan a day to head off on a new adventure with our kids somewhere. When my father gets wind of this he feels obligated to come up with some reason it will suck. It's either the traffic, no where to park, too expensive, etc. Now, when we plan something, we purposely tell him, hoping to rile the negative from him. We figure we may as well have some fun.

So, they say you marry your father.. boy I should have listened. I never realized that spilling an item on the floor was suppose to bring out the George Carlin rant.. remember the seven words you can't say on tv? Well, my husbands got George beat by several four letter words. Even better when there are guests. Funny, it does not help the situation. It does not clean up the mess. Even my daughter will look at him and say " Dad, it's not the end of the world, it's a spill."

My father in law does not drive, he has double vision.. lucky him, he gets to see two of everything. On Sunday, he asked my husband to take him to a store for one item. Of course Sunday is football day. Men like to sit on the couch, unshowered and scratch themselves for the day. Mind you, I was up to my elbows in tomatoes making sauce for dinner. After his pissing and moaning about having to , god forbid, leave the house, I told him never mind, once I had dinner on the way I would take HIS father to the store. Half an hour later, Mr. Mope came to the kitchen and said "I'll take him. It better be one store."

My sister has always had the knack of attracting her share of a mixture of negative, selfish men. I guess those of us who don't sweat the small things are bound to be surrounded by those who need a thousand milligram tablet of Fukitol.

I figure my revenge will be to come back in my next life as a man. My husband shall return as a woman and he will then be my wife. I feel it will be the ultimate revenge. Until then, I think there should be an island created just for moody, negative people. Of course it would be crowded. Maybe that is good, it would give them one more thing to bitch about.


Destiny said...

that is awesome!!!!!
i smiled through the whole thing. i don't think i'll ever look at a sausage the same way after your husband dropped them on my floor and made little boys giggle with his vulgar language.

dear old dad...yes, he does suck the f u n out of fun. well dad, i drove into boston on a Thursday night and parked at a meter for $2, so there!

Random Thoughts to Amuse said...

Oh let's not forget our trip to the beach. " The traffic on Saturday will suck. You'll never get a parking spot and if you do, you will have to keep paying the meter every hour."

Again, we showed him.. five bucks for a four hour token :P

Anonymous said...

Let me know when this island destination is decided on. I have several people in my life I could send.

Great Blog..